{"id":45089,"date":"2025-11-04T15:45:47","date_gmt":"2025-11-04T21:45:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.und.edu\/und-today\/?p=45089"},"modified":"2025-11-04T15:45:47","modified_gmt":"2025-11-04T21:45:47","slug":"the-grass-is-green-where-you-water-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.und.edu\/und-today\/2025\/11\/the-grass-is-green-where-you-water-it\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018The grass is green where you water it\u2019\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"

UND alumna Amber Flynn shares her perspective and journey with leadership for latest 18:83 talk<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Headshot<\/p>\n

As Amber Flynn looked up at the branches, laying on her back, she\u00a0likely\u00a0thought\u00a0her life as she knew it was over.<\/p>\n

She had just fallen 20 feet from a tree, straight to the ground. She couldn\u2019t get up.<\/p>\n

Before her\u00a0freshman\u00a0year of high school, Flynn\u00a0had been\u00a0an\u00a0active\u00a0kid\u00a0\u2014\u00a0inline skating\u00a0everywhere and playing basketball,\u00a0volleyball\u00a0and soccer\u00a0in\u00a0Grand Forks.<\/p>\n

With weeks to go until the start of school, the fall she\u2019d endured crushed one vertebra, broke another and collapsed a lung.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd I showed up on the first day as a freshman with a mouthful of metal, a back brace and the best Nike sweatsuit that you could find in town,\u201d Flynn said.<\/p>\n

But for her, a moment that could have felt like the end presented a new way of being.<\/p>\n

She could have been paralyzed. She knew she was lucky.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat fall literally and figuratively changed me,\u201d\u00a0Flynn\u00a0remarked.<\/p>\n

At the Memorial Union, for the latest installment of the 18:83 Speaker Series<\/strong><\/a>, Flynn shared some of the lessons she learned throughout and beyond her recovery from that incident.<\/p>\n

Today,\u00a0she\u2019s\u00a0a mother\u00a0of three,\u00a0a\u00a0UND graduate,\u00a0the\u00a0owner of Grand Real\u00a0Estate\u00a0and an active member of the Grand Forks community.<\/p>\n

What makes grass green<\/h2>\n

Being in the real estate business, Flynn knows firsthand that \u201csometimes your neighbor\u2019s grass is greener because their water bill is higher.\u201d<\/p>\n

But those with green thumbs, or those with green-thumbed neighbors, know\u00a0all\u00a0the meticulous care and hard work that makes a lawn pristine.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe grass is green where you water it,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

In reflecting on the circumstances of her injury, she decided to look at the beauty from where she was standing,\u00a0not where she thought she should be.<\/p>\n

Her talk followed that concept through four aspects of her approach to leadership: passion, perspective,\u00a0grace\u00a0and compassion.<\/p>\n

Passion from flames to embers<\/h2>\n

On passion, Flynn\u2019s experience in simultaneously running a business, raising a\u00a0family\u00a0and serving on multiple boards changed her\u00a0view\u00a0of the\u00a0word.<\/p>\n

Passion\u00a0in life is often\u00a0portrayed\u00a0as a roaring flame.<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes I\u2019ve felt like maybe I\u2019m not as passionate about things anymore, especially in seasons of exhaustion and burnout,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I learned that passion is sometimes an ember that needs tending to.\u201d<\/p>\n

And from some second-hand knowledge from a linguistics professor, Flynn learned that the root of \u201cpassion\u201d comes from the Latin word for \u201csuffer,\u201d which further changed Flynn\u2019s outlook.<\/p>\n

\u201cPassion isn\u2019t just about excitement and enthusiasm,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s about enduring the difficult parts around what we care most deeply about.\u201d<\/p>\n

Stemming from these ideas, Flynn talked about her journey with mental health, and how burnout is all too\u00a0apparent\u00a0in positions of leadership.<\/p>\n

\u201cThrough therapy, I learned that sometimes heart work and hard work are conflicting,\u201d she said. \u201cSometimes it feels like suffering, just like passion does.\u201d<\/p>\n

With burnout playing an outsized role in people leaving leadership\u00a0positions, Flynn said\u00a0it\u2019s\u00a0important to rest and learn to tend to what one has\u00a0\u2014\u00a0not to play the comparison game\u00a0or wish for greener grass.<\/p>\n

Perspective\u00a0meets grace<\/h2>\n

Flynn\u00a0then presented\u00a0two photos of a tree near her parents\u2019 house.<\/p>\n

One showed a once\u00a0tall and proud tree\u00a0partly shattered by lightning, forever scarred.<\/p>\n

The next photo, from the other side, showed the tree in a different light entirely. It was resplendent in its bright green leaves,\u00a0under a\u00a0golden sun,\u00a0with a\u00a0rainbow perfectly framing the background.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one would ever know it had faced pain, suffering and brokenness,\u201d Flynn said.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s\u00a0easy to make judgments from one side of the story. But if you shift your perspective even slightly, you might see what looks whole and strong while never seeing the pain and suffering behind it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Flynn shared that she serves on the\u00a0Grand Forks\u00a0School\u00a0Board, and that the comments she hears in those meetings can be angry,\u00a0harsh\u00a0and\u00a0pointed.<\/p>\n

While her first instincts\u00a0might be\u00a0to defend herself or correct the\u00a0person\u00a0speaking,\u00a0she\u2019s\u00a0learned to listen to what\u2019s underneath.<\/p>\n

\u201cUsually, those words aren\u2019t about policy or disagreement,\u201d she said. \u201cThey\u2019re about pain, love for their children or fear.\u201d<\/p>\n

And while the idea of grace is easy to preach,\u00a0it\u2019s\u00a0hard to\u00a0practice,\u00a0Flynn continued.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s learned\u00a0that grace means giving other people space to grow at their own pace, whether that\u2019s \u201ckeeping her mouth shut\u201d at a\u00a0School\u00a0Board meeting\u00a0or trying to get her kids (and\u00a0sometimes her husband) to put things away in the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cSometimes progress looks a lot like patience, just like it does when you\u2019re tending to your grass,\u201d Flynn said.<\/p>\n

Building gardens<\/h2>\n

And if grace means giving space, then compassion is filling\u00a0that space\u00a0with love.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen we lead with compassion, we stop comparing lawns and we start building gardens,\u201d\u00a0Flynn said.<\/p>\n

Through her leadership journey, she\u00a0has come to value compassion as wisdom, quiet strength and\u00a0essential to\u00a0building\u00a0trust \u2014 turning frustration into collaboration.<\/p>\n

It also\u00a0represents\u00a0the courage to see yourself and others as humans,\u00a0flaws\u00a0and all.<\/p>\n

But to offer compassion, one needs to practice it inwardly, she said.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe, at the end of the day, we\u2019re all just existing in the same yard, watering our own patches of grass,\u201d she mused.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo matter where you are, no matter what season\u00a0you\u2019re\u00a0in, you can make the grass green where you stand. Water it. Tend to it. And when it feels dry, borrow some water from your neighbor\u2019s hose \u2026 because your patch deserves to be as green as you make it.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The next installment of the 18:83 Speaker Series will be held on Wednesday, Nov. 12, featuring Tamba-Kuii Bailey<\/strong><\/a>, associate vice president and advisor to the president for Community & Belonging at UND.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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